4 words: hood of his car
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Hippo gnu deer
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She bit a glass in half.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
