508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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