Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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