i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
