STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
