It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
