I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
