I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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