The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
