Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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