my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
