I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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