you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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