New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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