Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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