There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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