Quick, to the slutcave!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
