i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
