the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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