Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
