Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
When are your genitals available?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
