is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He better not be in your backpack
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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