I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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