you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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