Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
be right there i have to get my cape
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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