honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
