you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
