so explain again why im purple
no
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
