shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
