What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
