playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He shit in the fireplace
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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