Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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