if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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