is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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