my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
