.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Let's paint friendship bongs
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
