after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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