It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
