oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
