Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize