some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
