I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
