the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
