its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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