Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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