If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Please don't give away my fajitas
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