Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
