Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We're too hungover to prance.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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