You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
do herpes really smell.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
