Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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