i jhust puked up my retainher.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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