very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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