Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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