I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
