Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.

Fav 9 4087 883
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(719): View more from Colorado

One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez

Fav 6 2602 1220
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.

Fav 14 8258 1060
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(702): View more from Nevada

I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.

Fav 68 9868 1307
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(251): View more from Alabama

I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party

Fav 12 4134 1449
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...

Fav 5 2459 1250
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(501): View more from Arkansas

I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.

Fav 8 1945 1011
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(912): View more from Georgia

No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.

Fav 2 199 81
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(309): View more from Illinois

i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.

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