What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i was born a porn star she said
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I could fuck to npr.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
