I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
