sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
