Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
