I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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