if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
