Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
