Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
