So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize