Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
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