i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
