he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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